Laughing is sometimes the best medicine. These one-liners add a little levity for all of us in isolation.

•Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem. 

•I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe. 

•I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator. 

•Still haven’t decided where to go for Easter —– The Living Room or The Bedroom 

•PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom. 

•Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job. 

•I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone 

•This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog….. we laughed a lot.  

•So, after this quarantine…..will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them? 

•Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business. 

•My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet. 

•Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat. 

•I’m so excited — it’s time to take out the garbage. What should I wear? 

•I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I’m getting tired of Los Livingroom. 

•Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.  

•Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year”…. I’m offended. 

•Better 6 🦶 apart than 6 feet under

Rochelle “Shelly” Zarro, passed away on September 4 in Winter Garden, Florida. Shelly spent her entire career in the Northport-East Northport UFSD, teaching second, fourth and sixth grades before training as a Computer Resource Teachers. She was one of the team of seven teachers who introduced computer literacy to district students in the mid-1980s. Shelly retired in 2002 after 34 years with the district.

Shelly and her husband Joe made their home in Eastport, Long Island until moving to Clermont, Florida after retirement. She was an active member of several civic organizations and clubs and thoroughly enjoyed her retirement until her diagnosis of Alzheimer’s Disease. In addition to her husband, Shelly is survived by her sister Jill Scheiber, her stepson, Joseph and a niece and nephew. The family suggests memorial contributions in her name to the Alzheimer’s Association (https://alz.org/). Condolences may be left at an online guest book at beckerfamilyfuneral.com.

We congratulate all the 2018 retirees and welcome you to the ranks of the Retired – United Teachers of Northport. We wish you a relaxing and enjoyable summer, and hope to see you at the Annual R-UTN Picnic on September 11 at the Vanderbilt Museum in Centerport.

Al Cicio
Debbie Culbert
JoAnn D’Abreu
Linda Dickman
Alecia Ernst
Ruth Gaines
Mindy Kurtzman
Janet Lambert
Diane  Lipari
Kevin McGinn
Jon Meyers
Mary Ann Murphy
Virginia Neill-Meade
Jayne Sandmann
Delores Scollan
George Searing
Don Sherman
Pauline Stasiuk
Joanne Sweeney
Claudia Tippett
Janet Zagaro

The United Teachers of Northport will have a new slate of officers as of July 1. The R-UTN members send our congratulations and solidarity!